Thursday, June 3, 2010

Failure

Oh well, so I didn't even survive 2 days in solitary retreat, a complete failure I must say. The monkey mind, as Sayadaw Dr Sunanda tells me, is very powerful. Yes it is, and with all its might I was made a mockery and flew myself back from Kedah prematurely, too prematurely.

All is not lost though, through this experience I actually gained some new insights, will probably pen them down later. And as Sayadaw has advised me when I did my final respects before leaving, Go Home and Resolve all the outstanding Life Issues and Come back to Learn Again Fast!

Yes Sayadaw I will.

7 comments:

  1. hi, i came across ur weblog by accident from another weblog. My opinion on this failure is:
    1. You should emphasize on accumulation of merit and purification 2. Study the Bodhisattva Path deeper, you may have affinities with that. Gd luck!

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  2. hello S
    Thank you for your encouragement and advice :)

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  3. another thing i can comment based on your blog is that you are very eclectic. Which is good. But being open-minded is the basis, then you should try to go deeper in the sense of choosing one proper Buddhist lineage or path and then diving into it completely from beginning to end. Taking pieces from everywhere in a spiritual shopper manner does not make sense for a serious practitioner. Don't fall into the stance of holding that all paths and all religions are in communion. It is just wishful thinking. Follow one path that can lead you to liberation properly and whole-heartedly. Such a commitment will also safeguard you from all distractions and keep your focus strong and sharp. Knowing alot and listening and reading from all kinds of viewpoints may not be helpful to you at this point. A strong focus and full confidence on what you are doing can help you more and stop wasting your time going in circles. Life is brief, don't think that you have all the time to dally on your spiritual journey.

    I feel that you are sincere but lack the discernment on what to do to overcome your obstacles. So I offered these points for your consideration.

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  4. Hello S,
    Thank you for this useful advice. You are right in a sense.

    i do admit im open to teachings from all lineages and read openly. however my daily practice is vipassana and mindfulness noting (can consider myself a student in the Mahasi Sayadaw tradition).

    after the experience of Lunas, there is a stark change to my understanding and approach to practice. for this past one month since, practice has been more discipline, yet without any purpose. it's like when its time to sit i'll just sit for the sake of sitting.

    another change i observe is i no longer hold on to Theravadin views as tightly as before. it can be right it can be wrong, its just a view. its not that there's a change in lineage, i will continue with the vipassana sittings for now. its just that i find the readings and views are a means to put meaning to the practice, and all lineages explain different parts clearer.

    i do have confidence in my practice. there is only one dharma, and this dharma is the raft. Many people are concerned with the experience of one shore and the other, paying attention to the differences between this shore and that.

    this weblog tries to focus on the crossing, the experiences of the practitioner, the raft and the river, with the river likened to be the daily life experiences, and its conditional nature. and its important to note that the raft is part of the river.

    there are still many obstacles to be overcome for me, and in a sense i dunno how they will resolve. and i get the sense that its probably urgent now. so yes i will practice hard, if its not too much to ask for, do share more pointers with me. so far you have been spot on :)

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  5. Geis,

    Glad that you can accept my comments.

    As for more pointers, you already have alot of pointers :O That's precisely my point, you lack the focus because you are opening yourself up to so much data.

    Sounds good that you are practising in a disciplined way. Seek a teacher and lineage soon or you will only be following your own whims and will. Be warned though that there are many people who consider themselves realised out there. For sure, some are authentic. But note that we are in the degenerated era, if there are so many genuine cases of enlightenment then this should be the golden era.

    Also, be careful of those who claim that getting realised can be done fast or easy. The fact is Buddhahood is a very long path, taking many lifes. Don't expect quick results. Look for masters who have a genuine lineage of teachers going all the way back to someone with confirmed realisation like Buddha Shakyamuni, not those self-confirmed start-ups. You have learnt from your own experience that talk or theory is very different from actual experience. Those who falsely claim that they are realised would usually fall on their tail when they meet difficult circumstances.

    For instance, just on your blog here, i have read some articles that i find quite unhelpful and even misleading. I won't point them out because it is not in my scope to do so. So work with a good teacher closely and practise hard. Focus and good teacher, these are the pointers i can share with you.

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  6. Hello S

    Thank you very much again :)

    not only for the explicit pointers, as well as the implicit ones.

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  7. Hey S

    maybe we can meet up? i would like to learn more about your practice :)

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