Thursday, February 17, 2011


if i were to count the number of items i throw away everyday as rubbish, i believe the number will be astounding. at work, at home, on the streets; items that were used, useful yet unwanted. we throw most of these away. some (for some most) items are of particular sentimental value, usually despite of their expiration. these are stashed at home and proudly declared as my personal collection. they serve no purpose other than as triggers for fond memories of a past, or as reminders of a misfit. im happy to see that i have less of such items now, slowly one by one as i clear my room they get their goodbyes and transmigrated. 

Most thoughts that arises during our waking moments are like these items. The useful thoughts are soon forgotten and thrown away, leaving behind the useless ones that stick like superglue. And these are the nasty ones. They invoke the wrathful emotional sensations that leads to endless ripples in the mind frame, as they take their places happily in the deepest trenches of our inner psyche. They become conditions for actions that are more often than not redundant, irrational, or at it's worst drastic and harmful. To throw these away is not easy, more difficult than to delete that old photograph. And when I felt they are no longer featuring in this motion picture anymore, they spring a surprise ambush as a stern reminder of our humanity. At least the photograph I threw away won't return and laugh at my pitiful state. I'm happy to see that I have less of such thoughts now, as one by one I embraced them and allow them space to stage their playful acts. 

The mind is one big rubbish dump, and the act of throwing away unwanted rubbish is meditation. In this simple breathing exercise, I've clearly seen the items clinging on for their dear lives, in a last ditch attempt to reassert their existence. Yet they have no substance, and are just a mirage that fades away when attention is focused on them. This process has to be repeated until one by one the rubbish run out of resources. 

Just as I refrain from buying new items and accumulate more unwanted items, there is a similar refrain from acting that will lead to new traces of unwanted thoughts. The volition is strong, and some items have yet to expire. They will just be allowed to run their full course into oblivion.

At this point, one clinging item is in the limelight after a peaceful settlement with a previous attachment rendered it powerless. In these past few years, it has gone one big circle and is now at the starting point again, ready to spring off the grid. 

After it has completed it's race, still it will be back to the dump. But meantime, it's allowed to stay as long as it wants.

This Heart's last stop shall be here. 

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