Right View

my post in http://www.sgforums.com/forums/1728/topics/415738 on the right view of Anatta.

just half a cent worth.

the term used commonly, no-self, will be discerned differently.

on the literal front, it points to the annihilation of the self; the non-existence of a person. this is the view of the logic mind, and the subjective view is the basis from which such an understanding arises. 

when the process is first seen, there is a sense of detachment from phenomena, in the form of a witness observing the arising and falling. 

onwards, it is observed that even the witness is just a mirage, dependently arisen from the different thoughts that arised, in turn arisen from the conditions that are present. there's a sense of freedom in knowing and allowing the sense of self to come and go. sometimes this sense stays longer, depending on what we're doing on hand, as well as the habitual tendencies. but generally the view can be 'accessed' with ease.

in a sense, one can intuit that the sense of self is already no-self, in all aspects of the language.

feel free to add pointers, correct this view if it's wrong.

The Teacher and the Student

What roles do we play in any relationship with another person? 

I mean if we were to randomly pick any person and consider the roles that are being played in that relationship, the emotions present in that relationship, the strength of that relationship, what can we say about purpose or usefulness of that relationship? 

Can we pick out certain roles that are inherent in every single relationships, considering communication patterns, influences, environment.

In my practice, I've come to realize that with every single person I come into contact with, I'm playing the roles of both the student and the teacher.

Every relationship reflects the inner state of our minds. When hateful actions are directed at me, it means hateful thoughts have arise in the my mind. In knowing this, I am the student, carefully observing the actions and thoughts that are present at this moment. In my response, I am the teacher. The response I choose will represent the lesson that the student in front of me can learn.

How are lessons from these interactions learnt?

They are best learnt when the ego is allowed to get out of the way; when we see through the illusion of self projected by our thoughts. When this is not done, any communication is just another soliloquy playing itself out in our minds then carrying out into our response.

My response of choice is the Truth. 

Who Am I?

Here I'm going to attempt to write on this topic which will sound like cryptic nonsense to many people. However it is true that nothing ever happens by chance, and so if you are reading this I'm pretty assured in time to come this will make sense like a lighted bulb in a dark room.

An important note here:

There's nothing nihilistic or escapist in this understanding. This simple practice of questioning 'Who am I?' will inevitably lead one to realize the inseparability of this life and the world. A sense of radical freedom will result, and one will, upon maturing of insights, engage the world with a more positive mind frame. This, I guarantee. 

Who am I?

During the first year of my practice. I constantly asked this question every day; in the car when driving, walking, Meditating, taking a shower. Whenever this question was asked, the automatic response will be ' I am Nick', without a doubt. And following on will be this response 'No I'm not!', I had been reading extensively and chanced upon some zen verses with the phrase 'not I, me nor mine' and literally took this into the practice.

Honestly, when viewed with conventional lenses, here was one crazy bonker walking around questioning his own identity and existence. Relying only on faith and intuition, I carried on this exercise for quite awhile.

I shall not continue to describe the course of events and experiences for it will take forever. However I will instead like to write on the significance of this question.

Do we really know who we are? Or the person beside you? Or that irritating person we do not like? The person I love now? How very sure are we?

Looking at this screen on my writings, who is it that is giving rise to the thoughts 'This is nonsense'? Where did these thoughts come from? Did YOU write these thoughts consciously?

If not, then who was it that was thinking these thoughts? Is there another man in the head working in a cockpit controlling this Mind and Body like an aircraft?

Does our intuition tells us there is something bigger here. Something that is only accessible if we can allow all the chatterings in the head to ease for awhile. But NO, the chatterings will Not stop. The more you want them to, the more they come along. Is it really Me thinking thoughts, or thoughts thinking Me?

So. Admit it. You are not in control of thoughts. We can direct them in a certain direction when needed, but most of the time they direct us.

So if we can't control our thoughts most of the time, WHO is controlling them? Is there anyone else controlling my thoughts against my will?

What if?

What IF, there is Nobody here. No Inherent, Independent Personality existing within this body that is in control.

That this feeling of Me which I am feeling now is a mirage projected by the thoughts, and are not substantial in any way.

That,

In Thinking, only Thoughts, no Thinker,

In Listening, only Sounds, no Listener.

Everything we can feel, hear, see, taste smell and think are dependently arisen with external/internal conditions without a separate agent in this body controlling. Empty of inherent existence, yet Full in experience.

Emptiness in Form, Form in Emptiness.

Everything is already Anatta in nature, perfect in their conditions within this seemingly imperfect world.

So 'Who am I?'

The Empty Boat

The Empty Boat

If a man is crossing a river and an empty boat collides with his skiff, even though he is a bad-tempered man he will not become very angry.

But if he sees a man in the boat, he will shout at him to steer clear. If the shout is not heard he will shout again, and yet again, and begin cursing. And all because there is somebody in the boat.

Yet, if the boat were empty, he would not be shouting, and not angry.

If you can empty your own boat crossing the river of the world, No one will oppose you. No one will seek to harm you....

Such is the perfect man:
His boat is empty.

Chuang Tzu

Thanks to Sinweiy for posting this in the forum.

Rubbish

if i were to count the number of items i throw away everyday as rubbish, i believe the number will be astounding. at work, at home, on the streets; items that were used, useful yet unwanted. we throw most of these away. some (for some most) items are of particular sentimental value, usually despite of their expiration. these are stashed at home and proudly declared as my personal collection. they serve no purpose other than as triggers for fond memories of a past, or as reminders of a misfit. im happy to see that i have less of such items now, slowly one by one as i clear my room they get their goodbyes and transmigrated. 

Most thoughts that arises during our waking moments are like these items. The useful thoughts are soon forgotten and thrown away, leaving behind the useless ones that stick like superglue. And these are the nasty ones. They invoke the wrathful emotional sensations that leads to endless ripples in the mind frame, as they take their places happily in the deepest trenches of our inner psyche. They become conditions for actions that are more often than not redundant, irrational, or at it's worst drastic and harmful. To throw these away is not easy, more difficult than to delete that old photograph. And when I felt they are no longer featuring in this motion picture anymore, they spring a surprise ambush as a stern reminder of our humanity. At least the photograph I threw away won't return and laugh at my pitiful state. I'm happy to see that I have less of such thoughts now, as one by one I embraced them and allow them space to stage their playful acts. 

The mind is one big rubbish dump, and the act of throwing away unwanted rubbish is meditation. In this simple breathing exercise, I've clearly seen the items clinging on for their dear lives, in a last ditch attempt to reassert their existence. Yet they have no substance, and are just a mirage that fades away when attention is focused on them. This process has to be repeated until one by one the rubbish run out of resources. 

Just as I refrain from buying new items and accumulate more unwanted items, there is a similar refrain from acting that will lead to new traces of unwanted thoughts. The volition is strong, and some items have yet to expire. They will just be allowed to run their full course into oblivion.

At this point, one clinging item is in the limelight after a peaceful settlement with a previous attachment rendered it powerless. In these past few years, it has gone one big circle and is now at the starting point again, ready to spring off the grid. 

After it has completed it's race, still it will be back to the dump. But meantime, it's allowed to stay as long as it wants.

This Heart's last stop shall be here. 

Noah Levine

A good sharing by Noah Levine. He's put it across spot on: Buddhism is not a religion, nor is it a philosophy. Buddhism is a life experience.

Thanks to Dean Crabb for sharing this on his blog.

This is the first time i see a Buddhism teacher with a hell-biker look, quite refreshing i must say haha.

Attachment

first contact in a long time,
and familiar memories arise.
only now they are seen through different eyes,
so pain just passes by.
there is knowledge of this subtle attachment;
a knot to be untied.
yet all are already perfect the way they are
in this very imperfect life.

Today's lesson

Met a Dharma friend today and learnt this beautiful sharing from him.

When giving, give Respectfully.
Even if faced with a beggar and doubts about his genuine state arise, a decision to give must be with respect. With this, it is not us who are helping him, but rather he is helping us. His karma will follow him, ours will follow us.

Enlightenment and the Self - Part 2

Enlightenment and the Self - Part 2

And here is the continuation from part 1. Dean's pointers will serve every practitioner well, so it's worthwhile to keep the link somewhere to reread along the journey. From experience, the same pointer will take on different meanings with new insights.

This line in particular is pointing to a recurring thought of late:

"In the mindfulness they converge into the living experience we are having now, here is just one view. In the simplicity of the experience we are having now there is no ultimate or relative. This is a really key point!"

Enlightenment and the Self - Part 1

Enlightenment and the Self - Part 1

Dean's clearly written article on the topic of enlightenment and its relation to the self. The clarity in his article is amazing with the use of apt analogies.

His point on the ocean water analogy brings to me memories of a particular day a few weeks back.

Was driving in a moderate rain one morning when a curious observation of the windscreen arises a stark realization. There was this big blob of rainwater rolling down the top of the windscreen, and as it rolls along drips of smaller droplets were left behind in its trail. Spontaneously this question arises 'Are these droplets the same as and a part of the big blob? Or are they separate and different from the big blob as they are appearing to be?' Then almost split second the intuit of consciousness, awareness or whatever else we wanna call it takes on a different sensation! Soon after this encounter, the sense of self is seen for what it really is.

IT will continue to manifest, bringing along with it the sensations of desires and fears, but it's alright, for the sense of self is by nature self-less and it's drives merely an interplay of conditions. With this realization, actions will still be taken but there is no actor, thoughts will still arise but there is no thinker.

As Shunryu Suzuki Roshi says "It is wisdom which is seeking for wisdom". Self is already self-less in nature.

Black Swan

First a Happy 2011 celebration to all. Learn from the lessons of the past and live in the fullness of the moment.

Wonderfully dark movie. One that touches base with the inner psyche where most of us build a wall around and imprison for much of our lives unknowingly. An intense psycho-thriller that explores what the world looks like in the eyes of being exposed to these inner psyche.

Desire and Fear. one cannot exist without the other and both only manifest in the realm of the mind. When what we normally experience in real life starts to warp and be overwhelmed by these train of thoughts, reality becomes questionable. The norm is to classify such experiences as schizophrenic, a psychiatric disorder, and impose a stigma on the person. A closer look, one that requires guts and immense openness, suggests that the conditions for such experiences arise to everyone everyday. In fact, our normal experience of this 'real world' would qualify everyone as schizophrenic in nature.

To realize our potential in our roles in this human life, we have to be honest, brutally, with these inner psyches and not lock them up. There is this need, and it's not just for the spiritual well-being, for these inner currents drive the ways we respond and live this life. It has a spillover effect on our perception and balance of our everyday roles to play. It's time to cut through the veil and remove the separateness that we have been believing to be a part of our existence.

On a lighter note, Natalie Portman has been my favourite for most gorgeous actress since her Star Wars days. Her performance this time round is impeccable, truly deserving the Oscar Award.

The Black Swan is within all of us, and is dependently arised with the White Swan. None can exist without the other nor be removed without the other being removed. Let this be known.