There is a natural tendency for us to want a happy occasion to last longer, and we usually like to take pictures during these occasions to relive the moment.
This tendency is here because subconsciously we know that we can't hold onto anything. We know that the memories will fade, that people will change, that the happiness is just a fleeting sensation. And this is what makes this life beautiful. Change is that which gives meaning to every moment of this life.
What we need to accept is change. Change is this life. Change is what creates this persona in this world. Without change this world will cease. Impermanence is the nature of this world, and it's what this life is about.
By seeing this, we know there is perfection in the imperfections.
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Do People Resist Change
Do People Resist Change?
What makes leading change so tough?
There’s not one reason – as leading successful change is anything but simple. But, there is a popular explanation. It’s this – people resist change.
You’ve heard it before. Maybe you’ve even said it yourself. Take a few seconds and consider what you believe that people resist change.
Your beliefs affect your ability to lead.
And, this notion that people resist change is such a common belief that many leaders take it to be a fact. Yet, it’s not true.
It’s comforting to assume that people resist change.
Then, when people don’t embrace the change you’re leading, there’s a ready-made explanation; an explanation that anchors all of the challenges leaders face in human nature.
The upside of this explanation is that it let’s everyone off the hook. Resistance is inevitable, according to this belief. And there’s precious little leaders can do about it.
The downside of this belief is that . . . well . . . you’re left right where you started. Not very useful. Are you ready for a new approach? It starts with a simple idea:
It’s not inevitable or even natural for people to resist change.
People change all the time. Human beings are wired to change. We’ve been changing for millions of years. In fact, the impulse to change, evolve, adapt and the motivation to improve are wired into our brains and bodies.
We are more naturally oriented to adapt than resist.
People are wired to adapt, to change. That’s what’s made our species so successful. And, this process of adaptation can proceed quickly or slowly.
When the conditions for change are right – people adapt in a heartbeat. Then, the change process is resistance-free. You’re happy. They’re happy. The results are positive.
But, when the conditions aren’t quite right – people struggle to adapt.
Their struggle slows things down. The schedule slips. The costs increase. Customers complain. It’s not pretty.
But, that doesn’t mean they’re resistant.
Labeling people’s struggle to adapt as resistance blinds you to what you can actually do to create the conditions that promote resistance-free change. When you see what’s happening as resistance, you want to make it go away.
But, if at the same time you believe that resistance is inherent in human nature – you’ve placed yourself in a double-bind that causes you to act in ways that actually exacerbate the struggle – and continue to frustrate you.
Trying to make resistance go away doesn’t create the conditions that promote rapid adaptation. Which is what you want. So, the first step towards leading change is making a small mental shift.
Here’s the shift:
When people appear to be resisting change – what they are actually doing is struggling to adapt to the change.
Don’t rush past this idea. Even if it doesn’t make sense right away or if you find it hard to accept, just give yourself some time to explore it.
When people appear to be resisting change, they’re struggling with reorganizing their sense of:
§ Who they are
§ What they do
§ How they need to work with others
§ And more.
They’re trying to adapt to what the change requires of them – and it’s more than meets the eye (or that shows up in the typical project plan).
People need help adapting to all that change requires.
They seldom get it in the way most change efforts are constructed. And so they struggle. It’s not fun for them, you, or the organization. Because, when people are struggling, they’re not at their best. They act in ways that seem . . . well . . . resistant. And it’s frustrating.
But, when you mistake the signs of struggle for “resistance” – you’re not able to skillfully address the conditions that perpetuate the struggle. And unless you can address those conditions, the struggling will perpetuate.
Try this mental exercise:
Step 1. Think about someone or some group that you have considered resistant. Picture them. And say to yourself, “Boy, are they resistant!”
§ Notice how you feel.
§ What you think.
§ And how they appear to you.
If you’re similar to others who have done this process, it doesn’t take long before you’re feeling irritated, anxious, hopeless, or some combination of these difficult emotions. And thoughts may be running through your mind such as, “What is wrong with them? Why can’t they just get with the program?”
Okay, enough self-inflicted suffering. Now, try something different by making a small mental shift.
Step 2. Picture the same person. But, now realize (make this mental shift) that while they appear to be resisting change – what they’re actually doing is struggling to adapt to the change.
§ Look at them with this mind shift. See them as struggling to adapt.
§ What’s it like to adopt this perspective?
§ How does it change your experience?
How have your emotions changed? What about your thoughts? Most people report that instead of being angry they’re interested in figuring out how to help the other person move efficiently through the struggle.
This is just a small mental shift. But, subtle shifts in thought and perspective can open up whole new realms of action. And this shift, is key to leading resistance-free change.
§ What do you believe about resistance to change?
§ What mental shifts have made it easier for you to lead change?
(This article is adapted from the book Leading Resistance-Free Change)
Monday, July 5, 2010
Who Moved My Cheese?
A nice video based on the classic book . The impermanent nature of this world require us to pay attention every moment and notice the changes and act accordingly. May everyone be prompted to look deeper into our lives, and re-examine the conditions that influence our actions.
Enjoy the video!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Quit Resisting Change, Letting Go Can Help You Get Ahead
Nice article taken from http://biz.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/6/12/business/6444410&sec=business
Quit resisting change, letting go can help you get ahead
SCIENCE OF BUILDING LEADERS
By ROSHAN THIRAN
ONCE a monkey has gotten hold of food in its hand, it is close to impossible to get the primate to let it go. And this makes trapping it easy for monkey catchers.
In Malaysia, a villager developed the ingenious “Monkey Trap” by burying a coconut and drilling a narrow hole big enough for a monkey’s hand to go through. He would place pieces of fruit, nuts or meat on skewers in the coconut. The odour and smell of the treats attracts monkeys to reach into the narrow opening and grab hold of the treats. As the monkey attempts to extract the treats, it finds that its fistful of food will not fit through the narrow opening.
The monkey will scream in frustration as he continues to hold on to his food and attempts to remove his hand from the coconut. The villager comes over and drops a net over the monkey. Even though the monkey sees the villager approaching, so intent is it on keeping the food that it grips the morsels even tighter and tries even harder to dislodge its fist.
Nothing is keeping that monkey captive except the force of its own attachment. All it has to do to escape is let go of the food. But so strong is the force of greed that it is a rare monkey which can let go.
Aren’t many business leaders just like monkeys? We may laugh at the monkey for its stupidity but every day we see similar foolishness displayed by many business leaders who struggle with letting go. Like monkeys, many leaders fail when they hold on too tightly to something that leads them astray.
We simply can’t let go of products, services and practices that worked in the past which contribute little today but require significant amounts of our time and attention. Or we struggle to let go of our ego and pride. And some business leaders simply can’t let go of their business and stay on in their roles way past their expiry date.
But the phenomenon is not limited to business leaders. Many people are traumatically bonded and cling on to bad relationships even though they know better. Or we can’t let go of a bad habit. Worse still, many hold on to old beliefs and dogma like “if it’s not broken, why fix it” and end up missing the boat when changes need to be made. Why is this?
In the case of the monkey, greed is the key reason. Greed and avarice are why executives fail to let go. And greed leads to fear.
Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi wrote: “He who considers wealth a good thing can never bear to give up his income; he who considers eminence a good thing can never bear to give up his fame. He who has a taste for power can never bear to hand over authority to others. Holding tight to these things, such men shiver with fear; should they let them go, they would pine in sorrow.”
While greed for food holds the monkey back, what holds us back? Is it our ego, power, pride or greed?
Successful business leaders struggle with letting go of their products and services that worked previously because they fear the unknown. The fear of losing the past outweighs the gain of the future. Thich Nhat Hanh, a famous Buddhist teacher, said: “People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”
They believe if they keep going the same way, even though it may be painful now, somehow life will return to the excesses of before in the future. Albert Einstein rebuts this belief: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Status Quo
Each of us naturally wants to maintain status quo, sticking to the safe and comfortable. According to Edward Miller, dean of John Hopkins medical school, people won’t change even if their lives depended on it. He studied people two years after their coronary artery bypass grafting and found 90% of them had not changed their lifestyle even though they knew they could die. They just could not change their lifestyle for whatever reason.
CEOs are supposedly the prime change agents for their companies but they are often most resistant to change.
When Louis Gerstner took over as CEO of IBM, he started by sticking to the McKinsey routine that had worked for him throughout his career – analysis paralysis and strategy. He thought he could revive the company through drills such as selling assets and cost cutting which were his comfort zones. But he was wrong and to his credit, he changed his consultant approach to a more cultural transformative one, thereby enabling IBM’s revival.
But most leaders resist change and are crippled by excuses to retain status quo. If you walk into any business and hear the following excuses, you are in a business where there are a lot of monkeys who just can’t let go:
· We’ve never done it before and it’s not possible.
· We/another company/person tried it before and it won’t work here. Our company is different.
· We’ve been doing it this way for the past 50 years.
· Why change – it’s working OK. Everything is fine here.
· Management will hate it. This company is not ready for it.
· It needs further investigation and more thought.
· Our competitors are not doing it. Why should we?
· We don’t have the money/resources/assets to do this.
· The union will scream. It’s too much trouble to change.
· Customers won’t buy it. It’s too radical a change
Ego
Ego is responsible for the majority of business failures. Disney, Wang Laboratories and even General Motors’ slide from glory was due to leadership ego. Even celebrity CEOs are not immune to ego issues. Steve Jobs was kicked out of the company he founded because of ego issues.
A personal example while I worked at GE is of the legendary Jack Welch, whose refusal to part with Montgomery Ward, a trouble departmental store that came to GE looking for an infusion of US$100mil to reverse the retailer’s fortunes. It wasn’t enough and the next year it came back and asked for more.
GE, faced with losing its original investment, gave the firm the additional money and then proceeded to give more the next year and the following years. To protect an initial US$100mil investment, GE eventually wasted billions. Just like the monkey who couldn’t let go, the world’s greatest CEO couldn’t let go of a black hole and later admitted it was ego that stood in the way.
Nelson Mandela quit as president of South Africa after his first term a legend. Some leaders can’t let go of their businesses and stay in the job way past their expiry date, causing the business or country to be ruined in the process.
Outdated beliefs
It is hard to identify even one single big business success that was achieved by following conventional wisdom. Yet many still rely on it daily.
A secretary working part-time while studying at a university in the US refused to learn the computer and only used the typewriter. She was typing 300 words a minute and believed if she kept improving her speed, her job was safe. Whilst everything around her told her to embrace the computer, her inner belief said otherwise. A year later, they fired her and replaced her with someone who typed 80 words a minute but could use the computer.
The newspaper industry globally is in decline and many blame the advent of the Internet to this decline. But researchers Michael Moore and Sean Paul Kelley believe that it is greed and the reliance on outdated wisdom that has seen the print media’s decline.
Each of us have beliefs and conventional thinking stifling our progress. Take time and re-examine your beliefs and remove and replace the ones that don’t work. Businesses need to do this often too.
In life, there are many things that we have to learn to let go. We have to let go of situations, things, memories, attachment to people and even ourselves. It can be very painful when it’s time to let go.
Letting go is similar to crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. Letting go can be one of the scariest experiences in your life but only by boldly taking a leap of faith into the unknown can you truly be the leader you were meant to be.
So, this weekend, why not reflect and learn to “let go” of something that is holding you back from greatness. Remember, every exit is an entry to somewhere else.
Think of it this way: you’re on a hiking trip and along the way you keep picking up heavy objects, things that don’t really help you get up the hill. After a while, these objects begin to slow you down and unless you get rid of them, you’ll never complete your trip. So, let them go.
Roshan Thiran is CEO of Leaderonomics, a social enterprise passionate about transforming the nation through leadership development. For more information on leadership programmes for your organisation, call 012-3291968 or login to
www.leaderonomics.com.
Quit resisting change, letting go can help you get ahead
SCIENCE OF BUILDING LEADERS
By ROSHAN THIRAN
ONCE a monkey has gotten hold of food in its hand, it is close to impossible to get the primate to let it go. And this makes trapping it easy for monkey catchers.
In Malaysia, a villager developed the ingenious “Monkey Trap” by burying a coconut and drilling a narrow hole big enough for a monkey’s hand to go through. He would place pieces of fruit, nuts or meat on skewers in the coconut. The odour and smell of the treats attracts monkeys to reach into the narrow opening and grab hold of the treats. As the monkey attempts to extract the treats, it finds that its fistful of food will not fit through the narrow opening.
The monkey will scream in frustration as he continues to hold on to his food and attempts to remove his hand from the coconut. The villager comes over and drops a net over the monkey. Even though the monkey sees the villager approaching, so intent is it on keeping the food that it grips the morsels even tighter and tries even harder to dislodge its fist.
Nothing is keeping that monkey captive except the force of its own attachment. All it has to do to escape is let go of the food. But so strong is the force of greed that it is a rare monkey which can let go.
Aren’t many business leaders just like monkeys? We may laugh at the monkey for its stupidity but every day we see similar foolishness displayed by many business leaders who struggle with letting go. Like monkeys, many leaders fail when they hold on too tightly to something that leads them astray.
We simply can’t let go of products, services and practices that worked in the past which contribute little today but require significant amounts of our time and attention. Or we struggle to let go of our ego and pride. And some business leaders simply can’t let go of their business and stay on in their roles way past their expiry date.
But the phenomenon is not limited to business leaders. Many people are traumatically bonded and cling on to bad relationships even though they know better. Or we can’t let go of a bad habit. Worse still, many hold on to old beliefs and dogma like “if it’s not broken, why fix it” and end up missing the boat when changes need to be made. Why is this?
In the case of the monkey, greed is the key reason. Greed and avarice are why executives fail to let go. And greed leads to fear.
Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi wrote: “He who considers wealth a good thing can never bear to give up his income; he who considers eminence a good thing can never bear to give up his fame. He who has a taste for power can never bear to hand over authority to others. Holding tight to these things, such men shiver with fear; should they let them go, they would pine in sorrow.”
While greed for food holds the monkey back, what holds us back? Is it our ego, power, pride or greed?
Successful business leaders struggle with letting go of their products and services that worked previously because they fear the unknown. The fear of losing the past outweighs the gain of the future. Thich Nhat Hanh, a famous Buddhist teacher, said: “People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”
They believe if they keep going the same way, even though it may be painful now, somehow life will return to the excesses of before in the future. Albert Einstein rebuts this belief: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Status Quo
Each of us naturally wants to maintain status quo, sticking to the safe and comfortable. According to Edward Miller, dean of John Hopkins medical school, people won’t change even if their lives depended on it. He studied people two years after their coronary artery bypass grafting and found 90% of them had not changed their lifestyle even though they knew they could die. They just could not change their lifestyle for whatever reason.
CEOs are supposedly the prime change agents for their companies but they are often most resistant to change.
When Louis Gerstner took over as CEO of IBM, he started by sticking to the McKinsey routine that had worked for him throughout his career – analysis paralysis and strategy. He thought he could revive the company through drills such as selling assets and cost cutting which were his comfort zones. But he was wrong and to his credit, he changed his consultant approach to a more cultural transformative one, thereby enabling IBM’s revival.
But most leaders resist change and are crippled by excuses to retain status quo. If you walk into any business and hear the following excuses, you are in a business where there are a lot of monkeys who just can’t let go:
· We’ve never done it before and it’s not possible.
· We/another company/person tried it before and it won’t work here. Our company is different.
· We’ve been doing it this way for the past 50 years.
· Why change – it’s working OK. Everything is fine here.
· Management will hate it. This company is not ready for it.
· It needs further investigation and more thought.
· Our competitors are not doing it. Why should we?
· We don’t have the money/resources/assets to do this.
· The union will scream. It’s too much trouble to change.
· Customers won’t buy it. It’s too radical a change
Ego
Ego is responsible for the majority of business failures. Disney, Wang Laboratories and even General Motors’ slide from glory was due to leadership ego. Even celebrity CEOs are not immune to ego issues. Steve Jobs was kicked out of the company he founded because of ego issues.
A personal example while I worked at GE is of the legendary Jack Welch, whose refusal to part with Montgomery Ward, a trouble departmental store that came to GE looking for an infusion of US$100mil to reverse the retailer’s fortunes. It wasn’t enough and the next year it came back and asked for more.
GE, faced with losing its original investment, gave the firm the additional money and then proceeded to give more the next year and the following years. To protect an initial US$100mil investment, GE eventually wasted billions. Just like the monkey who couldn’t let go, the world’s greatest CEO couldn’t let go of a black hole and later admitted it was ego that stood in the way.
Nelson Mandela quit as president of South Africa after his first term a legend. Some leaders can’t let go of their businesses and stay in the job way past their expiry date, causing the business or country to be ruined in the process.
Outdated beliefs
It is hard to identify even one single big business success that was achieved by following conventional wisdom. Yet many still rely on it daily.
A secretary working part-time while studying at a university in the US refused to learn the computer and only used the typewriter. She was typing 300 words a minute and believed if she kept improving her speed, her job was safe. Whilst everything around her told her to embrace the computer, her inner belief said otherwise. A year later, they fired her and replaced her with someone who typed 80 words a minute but could use the computer.
The newspaper industry globally is in decline and many blame the advent of the Internet to this decline. But researchers Michael Moore and Sean Paul Kelley believe that it is greed and the reliance on outdated wisdom that has seen the print media’s decline.
Each of us have beliefs and conventional thinking stifling our progress. Take time and re-examine your beliefs and remove and replace the ones that don’t work. Businesses need to do this often too.
In life, there are many things that we have to learn to let go. We have to let go of situations, things, memories, attachment to people and even ourselves. It can be very painful when it’s time to let go.
Letting go is similar to crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. Letting go can be one of the scariest experiences in your life but only by boldly taking a leap of faith into the unknown can you truly be the leader you were meant to be.
So, this weekend, why not reflect and learn to “let go” of something that is holding you back from greatness. Remember, every exit is an entry to somewhere else.
Think of it this way: you’re on a hiking trip and along the way you keep picking up heavy objects, things that don’t really help you get up the hill. After a while, these objects begin to slow you down and unless you get rid of them, you’ll never complete your trip. So, let them go.
Roshan Thiran is CEO of Leaderonomics, a social enterprise passionate about transforming the nation through leadership development. For more information on leadership programmes for your organisation, call 012-3291968 or login to
www.leaderonomics.com.
Friday, November 27, 2009
blabberings
some food for thought.
the world is constantly changing. we hear this all the time and know this as a fact of life. and in work particularly we always advocate change as well as moving with changes ( just weeks ago was telling the consultants that the market is changing haha). tendencies are we know the need to accept and move with change and yet at the same time we are subconciously resistant to changes.
mickey and geis always have discussions about how we wished consultants will change their work habits, lifestyles, even aspects of their personalities ( WTB more EQ hehe WoW lingo). yet at the same time we display confusion and even intolerance when presented with a change.
just this week mickey was saying this to geis:
mickey: eh u know to reach out to mel better u have to be back to ur old self, u have to go out and get pissed drunk with him, get him to feel u r the old geis again.
hmmmm interesting
the hardest change to accept is probably that in a person, with the emotions and memories and interaction and what other mumbo jumbo all coming into play forming this perceived personalities we have of our-selves.
there's also a subtle contradiction, one that we conveniently ignore or cover over. for perhaps the greatest fear anyone can have is that of change.
so change or don't change haha
doesn't really matter isn't it?
oh well, time to plan a drinking session with mel :)
the world is constantly changing. we hear this all the time and know this as a fact of life. and in work particularly we always advocate change as well as moving with changes ( just weeks ago was telling the consultants that the market is changing haha). tendencies are we know the need to accept and move with change and yet at the same time we are subconciously resistant to changes.
mickey and geis always have discussions about how we wished consultants will change their work habits, lifestyles, even aspects of their personalities ( WTB more EQ hehe WoW lingo). yet at the same time we display confusion and even intolerance when presented with a change.
just this week mickey was saying this to geis:
mickey: eh u know to reach out to mel better u have to be back to ur old self, u have to go out and get pissed drunk with him, get him to feel u r the old geis again.
hmmmm interesting
the hardest change to accept is probably that in a person, with the emotions and memories and interaction and what other mumbo jumbo all coming into play forming this perceived personalities we have of our-selves.
there's also a subtle contradiction, one that we conveniently ignore or cover over. for perhaps the greatest fear anyone can have is that of change.
so change or don't change haha
doesn't really matter isn't it?
oh well, time to plan a drinking session with mel :)
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